Social anxiety and COVID
Anxiety thrives on uncertainty, so it is no wonder that rates of anxiety have sky- rocketed during this pandemic. But at least in lockdown we knew what we could and couldn’t do. Since opening up we have ever more questions and less answers.
Should we wear masks or not? Do lateral flow tests regularly or before seeing other people? Accept invites to gatherings? Have gatherings? The list goes on, and so does our sense of confusion about how to feel and the best way to respond. Numerous studies have shown how much we have struggled, and perhaps continue to struggle. You are not alone.
The pressure to socialise again can feel really overwhelming. But social engagement is actually a very important part of being human. We live in packs (communities, families & society) to survive, so connecting with others is a form of protection.
Even the most confident and extrovert seeming people can find it challenging to resume ordinary face-to-face contact in a variety of social situations. Give yourself time, but there are also things you can do to make it easier.
When we do meet and mix again, it’s important to have our attention focused externally toward the world around us. If we allow ourselves to become too self-focused, we fall prey to our thoughts influencing how we feel, and then how we behave. Come out of your head and into your environment. What are people drinking? What does your drink taste like? Is the food good? How is the room looking? Take deep breaths to ground yourself.
Don’t dwell on your performance once you are home - thinking about what you “should” have done, or done differently, and being too self-critical will just erode your confidence. Draw a line and move on.
Worrying about other people’s perception of us and wanting to be approved and loved by everyone is unrealistic and unachievable. If you find that this is your story, think again, as it is self-defeating & will ultimately sabotage your happiness & enjoyment of life.
Julia Garden
CBT therapist.